The fabulous and amazing Mysticalman

_{[The video opens on a rather lanky fabulous young man sporting a pair of white pants and some of the gaudiest wings you have ever seen. It's pretty obvious he just got there, but he strangely doesn't seem all that distressed.
In fact, he looks positively ecstatic.]}

Good day, everyone! It is with great pleasure than I, the Mysticalman, shall henceforth watch over you as Suicune's chosen champion! Now, now, no need to be intimidated. I know I make for an impressive sight, but I assure you I do not bite!

_{[A short pause, for dramatic effect.]}

That said! I appear to be short a few personal effects. While I'm sure this is merely a side effect of my newly acquired status, I would certainly like getting them back! The weather is pretty chilly, after all. Which is a sign Suicune is around, I've got no doubt about it! But what a shame it would be if I caught a cold now, of all times!

_{[His voice drops to a slightly less deafening volume, in a way that would be reminiscent of shame if he, well... had even the slightest sense of it.]}

Oh, and I... also seem to have lost my balls sometime during this eventful night. As you can guess, it is my utmost priority that I find them again! I assume they must be somewhere in this forest, so any help would be greatly appreciated!

_{[Aaaand cut! Adoring masses, here he comes!]}

Want to thread with Eusine anytime and anywhere? WHY WOULD YOU EVEN WANT TO DO THAT I CANNOT

Here's where you can do it!
Just precise the method and date in the title line, like in this convenient example stolen from everyone else ever:

[Action, April 18th]
[Voice, November 3rd]
[Written, August 13th]

Disclaimer: I take no responsibility for any urge to punch fabulous dudes in the face after such threading.